Witnessing Violence: What It Does to Us, and How to Care for Ourselves & Navigate Online Communities
Whether you experienced violence directly, saw it unfold nearby, or encountered it through relentless news and social media, your nervous system registers it. “Witnessing” includes in-person exposure, hearing or seeing the aftermath, and consuming graphic coverage online. All of these can be distressing, and all are valid reasons to seek care.
As a licensed mental health therapist, I want to walk you through what tends to happen in the body and mind, why nonstop media can intensify symptoms (including what researchers learned after 9/11), and what you can do for yourself and with your community to restore a sense of safety and choice.
How witnessing violence affects us
Right after an event, many people experience acute stress reactions: intrusive images, feeling “keyed up” or jumpy, trouble sleeping, going numb, or avoiding reminders.
From there, reactions are incredibly human and incredibly varied:
Your body goes on alert. Think pounding heart, shallow breathing, a tight jaw, or that wired-and-tired feeling. Your nervous system is doing its best to keep you safe, even if you are no longer in danger. This can even happen if you have witnessed violence through a screen.
Your mind tries to make sense of it. You might replay moments, second-guess decisions, or imagine different outcomes. Some people want to talk; others prefer quiet or action. Both are normal.
Feelings come in waves. Shock, anger, fear, sadness, even flashes of relief or gratitude. Emotions can contradict each other, this does not mean you are “doing it wrong”; it means you are human.
Focus and memory can wobble. It is common to forget small tasks, lose track of time, or feel scattered. Brains prioritize threat over grocery lists.
The world can feel different. Places that used to feel easy might feel tense. You may scan exits at a store, change routes, or sit with your back to a wall for a while. That is your safety system recalibrating.
Values get activated. Witnessing harm can stir outrage, a craving for justice, or grief for what should never have happened. For some, this awakens a deeper commitment to community care.
Relationships shift. You might want to be closer to people or need more space. Small frustrations can spike; patience can thin. Naming needs (“I want company” / “I need quiet”) helps others meet you where you are.
Old stuff can echo. If you have lived through violence, witness violence before, seen coercion, spiritual abuse, or community betrayal, current events can light up older pathways. That is not “backsliding”; it is your body remembering. Pace yourself, and choose supportive spaces that honor your boundaries.
Media can magnify it. Replaying graphic clips or doomscrolling can crank up distress and make it harder to settle. Curating your feed (or stepping away) is a form of care, not avoidance.
Rhythms and routines may need adjusting. Sleep, appetite, movement, and focus often fluctuate. Gentle structure (i.e. regular meals, a short walk, a set bedtime) can help your system re-find center.
The through-line: your reactions are signals, not verdicts about who you are. With time, support, and small steady practices, most people feel these responses ease and become more manageable.
Why media matters (a lot): what 9/11 taught us
After 9/11, a lot of people across the U.S. felt rattled. In the first few days, a national survey found many adults (and a lot of kids) were having stress reactions. (New England Journal of Medicine)
In New York City, one study noticed something important: folks who kept seeing the most graphic clips from news media and in-person accounts, reported stronger trauma reactions in the weeks after. The researchers essentially found that the more you replay upsetting footage, the harder it can be to feel okay. (PubMed)
A few months later, another study found the same basic pattern: people who watched the most TV coverage in that first week were more likely to still be struggling. In short, binging the news early on tended to keep stress going. (UMICU)
Since then, reviews of many disasters have shown a similar trend that heavy viewing of violent or graphic coverage is linked with more distress. That doesn’t mean you should avoid all news; it just means setting boundaries (no autoplay, short check-ins, skip graphic clips) is a smart form of care
Bottom line: Being “glued to the footage” can make you feel worse. Thoughtful boundaries around media are not avoidance, they are trauma-smart.
What to do right now (for your nervous system)
First, basic safety. Move somewhere secure, connect with a trusted person, and take care of body needs: water, food, warmth, meds. This stabilizes physiology so your brain can process.
Gentle regulation. Use paced breathing (e.g., 4-second in, 6-second out), orienting (name 5 things you see), or a sensory anchor (hold an ice cube, warm mug). Your body needs to regulate.
Practice Psychological First Aid (PFA) principles. Offer/seek practical support, information, and connection, rather than pressured disclosure. PFA is the gold-standard early approach used in disasters. (NCTSN)
Protect your media diet. Consider a 24- to 72-hour pause on graphic videos; then re-introduce time-boxed, reliable updates (no autoplay; no late-night scrolling). For kids/teens, co-view, discuss, and limit exposure, especially to graphic content. (American Academy of Pediatrics)
Sleep, movement, nourishment. These are therapy for the autonomic nervous system; even 10–20 minutes of light movement can reduce distress.
Caring for kids and teens
Name feelings + normalize reactions. Keep explanations age-appropriate and emphasize the steps adults are taking to keep them safe.
Limit and process media together; avoid looping clips. Adolescents are highly likely to encounter content via social platforms, coach them on muting keywords, disabling autoplay, and taking breaks.
Restore routine. Predictability is protective.
Being online without adding to the harm
Set up your feed before you scroll. Turn off autoplay, mute keywords you don’t want to see right now, and pick short, scheduled check-ins for news (e.g., 10–15 minutes twice a day). Heavy, repeated viewing of violent footage can crank up stress; boundaries help.
Skip graphic replays. If a clip made your stomach drop the first time, replaying it won’t make it easier. It is okay to stay informed without watching the most disturbing images. Parents/caregivers: co-view when you can and keep kids away from looping, graphic posts.
Pause before you share. Quick rule of thumb: Who posted it? Where else is it reported? What’s the date/context? If you cannot answer those questions, do not amplify it yet. Slow down and verify.
Use content notes and consent. If you post about violence, add a simple content note (e.g., “Content Warning: violence”) and avoid uploading graphic images. If someone is identifiable, get consent before sharing, or don’t share at all.
Protect your own nervous system. After a rough scroll: drink water, look away from the screen, name five things you see/hear/feel, and text someone steady. These quick resets come from common crisis-support approaches used after disasters.
Remember the “media math.” More exposure usually = more stress. It is not about ignoring reality; it is about staying informed in ways that don’t fry your system. Studies on collective trauma (i.e. 9/11, Boston Marathon bombing, gun violence, etc.) found that lots of daily media exposure was linked to higher stress, sometimes even more than being nearby in person.
Quick self-care checklist
Safety first: body needs + trusted person
Switch off autoplay; set news windows/ limit news content exposure (e.g., 15 min twice daily)
Grounding: breath (4–6), name 5 things you see, feet to floor
Gentle movement; hydrate; eat something warm
Journal: “What I feel / What I need”
Reach out: text 1–2 people; ask for a specific kind of support if needed
For kids/teens: co-view, limit graphic content, restore routine
References & Resources
Debriefing not recommended (PubMed)
Community-level strategies (CDC, Community Violence Prevention Resource for Action).
Disclaimer:
⚠️ The content on this blog is intended for informational and educational purposes ONLY and should NOT be considered a substitute for personal professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. Reading these posts does not establish a therapeutic relationship.
If you are currently in crisis, experiencing thoughts of harming yourself or others, or are in need of immediate support, please call 911 or contact a crisis line such as the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 (U.S.) or access your local emergency services.
These blog posts are written to explore topics like trauma, religious deconstruction, cults, identity development, and mental wellness in a thoughtful and compassionate way. They may (or may not) resonate deeply, especially for those healing from complex trauma, but they are NOT meant to replace individualized therapy or medical care.
