When the Mission Hurts: Understanding Mormon Missionary Trauma
For many raised in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS), serving a mission is framed as the pinnacle of spiritual devotion. It is essentially a sacred rite of passage into deeper faith and even an initiation into adulthood. Young adults are expected to leave their families, friends, and familiar lives behind to proselytize full-time for 18 months to two years, often in a foreign country or unfamiliar part of the U.S, and sometimes completely immersed in a new language.
While there are individuals who had deeply meaningful experiences through serving a Mormon mission, it is important to validate the many, many other missionaries whose experiences were incredibly traumatizing. As a trauma therapist who works with individuals healing from religious trauma, I have seen how mission experiences leave lasting emotional, physical, and spiritual scars.
The Pressure Starts Early
Youth and even children are taught that missionary work is not just encouraged, but expected. Long before the mission call arrives, the pressure to serve is heavy. It is a moral obligation that demonstrates righteousness and worthiness. For young men especially, not serving a mission can result in stigma, judgment, and even disqualification from future church leadership or temple marriage. This pressure creates a “no way out” situation, even for those who feel spiritually unready, mentally unwell, unsure about their faith, or just flat out have no desire to serve. The expectation for young adults to serve often comes before they have had a chance to explore alternative options and avenues for their lives.
What Missionaries Often Endure
Life as a missionary is intensely structured and high-demand. Expected to wake at 6:30 a.m., follow a strict daily schedule, and to constantly perform emotionally labor-intensive work. There is little autonomy, little privacy, and no time off. Contact with family is limited. Companions are assigned (not chosen), and you are not permitted to be alone.
Missionaries are trained to ignore or suppress doubts, override discomfort, and “push through” no matter what. You are expected to be obedient and positive at all times. Sickness, exhaustion, depression, anxiety, and even serious trauma are often minimized or brushed aside.
For some, this leads to:
Chronic anxiety and panic
Religious scrupulosity or moral perfectionism
Spiritual bypassing and emotional suppression
Poor decision making skills
Difficulty setting and keeping healthy boundaries
Intense feelings of shame
Trauma symptoms from sexual harassment, assault, or unsafe environments
Disordered eating due to stress, limited control, or mission culture
PTSD from medical trauma, political instability, or aggressive proselytizing environments
Depersonalization or derealization (feeling detached from reality or oneself)
Coming Home
Missionaries who come home early, regardless of the reason (i.e. illness, mental health, disciplinary action, etc.), they are often met with shame, whether that is directly from other members or internalized shame. Many are told they “gave up,” “were not faithful enough,” or “let Satan win.” This compounds the trauma and makes it hard to seek help.
Even those who completed their full time missions often come home emotionally numb, dissociated, or burned out. The transition home is rarely gentle. Some missionaries may begin to question church teachings or practices after seeing systemic issues up close. Others realize that the high-control nature of missionary life mirrors broader patterns of spiritual abuse or coercion.
After returning home the expectations do not stop. Missionaries are expected to immediately return to church service, find a spouse, and remain spiritually enthusiastic. This can leave no time for returned missionaries to explore their own identity or evaluate their own experiences. Their identity then becomes further consumed and integrated within church expectations.
What Can Help
Recovery from missionary trauma in part is about unpacking what happened, but it also includes reclaiming your sense of self, rebuilding trust in your body and emotions, and creating a life that feels safe and aligned.
Name and Normalize What You’re Feeling- Many returned missionaries feel confused, ashamed, or isolated. Give yourself time and space to process your emotions. If it aligns with your experiences and feelings, naming it as trauma, spiritual abuse, or high-control group dynamics can be a powerful first step. Books and podcasts can help you put language to your experience.
Educate Yourself About Religious Trauma- Understanding the psychology of coercion, shame, and high-demand systems can reduce self-blame.
Find Community- Connect with others who have had similar experiences. Experiencing validation from peers can reduce isolation and increase healing.
Create Boundaries- Boundaries are not about cutting people out, they are about protecting you. Learn about healthy boundary setting, and set boundaries with people, places, and things to create safety and regulate your nervous system.
Practice Nervous System Regulation- Trauma lives in the body. Somatic practices can help. This can include gentle yoga or stretching, breath work or grounding exercises, walking in nature or spending time with animals, or using meditation apps for daily mindfulness.
Reclaim Joy and Autonomy- Give yourself permission to try new hobbies without guilt, wear what you want, read books that have nothing to do with the church, rest when you are tired, and rediscover who you are outside of the roles you were assigned.
Explore Your Own Spirituality- Your spiritual identity is yours to define.
Start Therapy with a Trauma-Informed, Culturally Sensitive Clinician- Look for a therapist who understands the demands of a Mormon mission. Trauma-Focused modalities like EMDR, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Somatic-Based Therapies, and Trauma-Focused CBT can be especially helpful. Therapy for Mormon missionary trauma can help you:
Reclaim and build your autonomy and inner voice
Understand and connect with your emotions
Process traumatic experiences in a safe, nonjudgmental space
Heal spiritual and existential wounds
Unpack internalized shame and pressure
Understand how your nervous system responded (and still responds) to trauma
Rebuild trust with yourself and your emotions
If you choose to, you can use therapy as a safe space to explore your identity outside of the church
If your mission left you with unresolved trauma, identity confusion, or just deep exhaustion, you deserve to be supported by people who understand. Whether you recently returned from a mission, or it has been years/ decades since coming home, therapy can assist you. You do not need to have it all figured out. Your pain makes sense in the context of your experience.
