Fatphobia in High-Demand Groups: Why Body Policing Is a Feature, Not a Flaw
In many high-demand religious groups, control shows up through rules about what to wear, how to speak, or who to marry, and it also shows up in how people are expected to inhabit their bodies. For those in larger bodies, the message is clear, that you “should” shrink yourself, both literally and figuratively.
What Is Fatphobia?
Fatphobia refers to the systemic fear, discrimination, and marginalization of people in larger bodies. It is the assumption that fatness equals laziness, poor health, moral failure, or a lack of discipline. These harmful beliefs are widespread in mainstream culture, but in high-demand religious groups, fatphobia often gets wrapped in spiritual language.
There is a misconception that fatphobia only impacts individuals in larger bodies; however, the reality that because of the nature of these beliefs, it actually ends up impacting anyone who is fearful that they do not fit the “ideal” body type.
Fatphobia as a Tool of Control
High-demand groups tend to be preoccupied with purity, obedience, and control. These values are often extended to the body through strict teachings on modesty, sexuality, food, and physical appearance. People are taught that their bodies are a reflection of their spiritual worth. In many cases this means maintaining a thin, “healthy” appearance becomes not just a health goal, but a moral obligation.
Fatphobia is not about health. Fatphobia is also not specifically directed to individuals in larger bodies. (Note: this does not dismiss or invalidate the harm caused to individuals in larger bodies because of fatphobic belief systems.) It is a system of control that upholds the group's hierarchy, and exists to control bodies, no matter the size.
In many high-demand religions, beautiful (thin) obedient women are framed as the ultimate reward for a man’s spiritual faithfulness. This messaging not only reinforces gender roles, but also reduces women to objects of desire whose value is based on appearance, compliance, and sexual availability. Women and AFAB individuals are taught to pursue thinness not just for health or attractiveness, but as a sacred duty. Men are conditioned to expect thin, submissive partners as proof of their righteousness. And anyone who exists outside of those expectations (i.e. fat, queer, disabled, outspoken) is either erased or shamed into conformity. This may show up in these environments as:
“Modest” fashion codes that shame bodies that cannot be easily covered by standard clothing.
Diet culture masked as stewardship, where “honoring your temple” becomes a euphemism for weight loss.
Shaming language from the pulpit or leaders about gluttony or judgmental remarks about people who to not appear like the group’s ideal.
Fitness requirements for missionary service that disproportionately exclude fat individuals.
Reinforcement of patriarchal ideals that assign more value to women who are thin, quiet, and conventionally attractive.
Objectification of thinness as spiritual reward, where women’s worth is linked to being “marriage material” and men are promised compliant wives as a prize for their faithful obedience.
Bodies as spiritual barometers and thinness as a sacred duty. Members are taught that their physical appearance reflects their spiritual worth, making thinness a moral obligation, not just a health goal.
Erasure and shaming of nonconforming bodies. Those who are fat, queer, disabled, outspoken, or otherwise outside the ideal are marginalized, silenced, or pressured to conform.
Fatphobia as a Core Tenet of a Cult
In many cults and high-demand groups, particularly those rooted in Western European leadership and cultural norms, fatphobia is not just incidental, it is foundational. These groups often import the Eurocentric ideal of the “perfect woman”: thin, young, beautiful, modest, and compliant. However, it is also important to note that by compelling women into relentless preoccupation with thinness, appearance, and weight, these groups do not just enforce conformity, they actually weaken resistance. When one’s energy is mired in self-surveillance and body shame, there is less capacity to question, doubt, or object to the control being enforced. This is a theory that is echoed in many spaces:
Naomi Wolf’s The Beauty Myth argues that beauty ideals are used as a tool against women, keeping them preoccupied and less powerful in broader societal contexts.
Feminist critiques note that when women are valued mainly for “fitness to be looked at” rather than “fitness to act,” their agency is severely undercut.
Psychological studies on the internalization of the thin ideal link it to body dissatisfaction, low self‑esteem, and symptoms aligned with eating disorders, indicating a drain on emotional and cognitive bandwidth that could otherwise go into resistance or autonomy.
The Racial Roots of Religious Fatphobia
Fatphobia is deeply tied to racism and colonialism. As historian and sociologist Sabrina Strings documents in her book Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia, Western ideals of thinness emerged alongside slavery and the transatlantic slave trade.
In 18th and 19th century Europe, fatness began to be racialized, associated with Blackness, “immorality,” and a supposed lack of self-control; while thinness was framed as evidence of racial, moral, and spiritual superiority. These racist beliefs were exported globally through colonialism and Christian missionary work, embedding the idea that thinness was not only healthier but holier.
In high-demand religious groups with Western European roots, these ideas became spiritualized:
Thinness as moral purity: White, thin bodies were portrayed as the pinnacle of virtue and discipline.
Fatness as sin and “otherness”: Larger bodies, especially those of women of color, were framed as morally suspect or spiritually inferior.
Colonial missionary influence: Western missionaries carried both Christian doctrine and Eurocentric beauty standards into the communities they sought to “civilize.”
This history is often invisible to those in high demand groups, but its effects are powerful. Understanding this racial element makes it clear that fatphobia in religious contexts is not just personal shame. It is part of a larger system designed to uphold white, Eurocentric, patriarchal power.
Emotional and Political Impact of Body Preoccupation
In these contexts, body preoccupation becomes infrastructure for control. It is harder to notice psychological manipulation, question deceptive doctrines, or plan an exit strategy when you are trapped in shame, fatigue, and isolation. In family systems, fatphobia may look like:
Generational body talk and appearance-based criticism.
Conditional praise tied to weight loss.
Food used as moral currency or punishment.
Public shaming about body size.
Diet culture as family “tradition.”
Unequal treatment of larger-bodied relatives.
Pressure to “represent the family well” by losing weight.
Passing down fatphobic attitudes.
The Emotional Toll of Body Policing
When your body is constantly scrutinized through a religious or spiritual lens, it creates lasting harm. Many people internalize the belief that their size is a reflection of their morality or worthiness. Even after leaving these groups fatphobia can look like:
Constant self-surveillance – Regularly monitoring weight, food intake, or body shape, even without external prompting.
Moralizing food choices – Labeling foods as “good” or “bad” and feeling guilt or shame when eating “bad” foods.
Avoidance – Skipping social, fitness, or community activities due to fear of judgment.
Self-worth tied to body size – Believing one’s value, attractiveness, or “worthiness” is conditional on thinness.
Disordered eating behaviors – Chronic dieting, fasting, binge-restrict cycles, or overexercise.
Clothing restriction – Avoiding certain clothes due to modesty teachings or beliefs about what is “flattering.”
Body-checking rituals – Frequently weighing, measuring, or scrutinizing one’s body in mirrors.
This is why healing frameworks do not include appearance as an indicator for health, rather the best healing modalities help people reclaim awareness, autonomy, and embodied strength beyond the ideal of thinness.
Reclaiming Body Autonomy and Trust
Unlearning fatphobia after leaving a high-demand group is simultaneously a personal, spiritual, and political act. It takes time, self-compassion, and often therapeutic support. Many survivors find that this process involves not just changing how they see their body, but also dismantling the belief systems that tied body size to morality, obedience, or salvation.
Some steps that may help in reclaiming body autonomy and rebuilding trust with yourself:
Reconnect with your body on your own terms. Practices like somatic therapy, gentle stretching, or intuitive movement can help you notice sensations, build safety, and experience your body as a place you live in, not a project to fix.
Learn about Health at Every Size (HAES) and body liberation approaches that affirm all bodies as inherently worthy, regardless of size or weight.
Challenge spiritualized diet culture. Re-examine how phrases like “honoring your temple” or “taking care of what God gave you” may have been used to justify weight loss pressures.
Read books that challenge previous belief systems and encourage your own body autonomy.
Unpack the deeper belief systems that taught you your body had to be small to be good.
Diversify your media. Follow fat activists, therapists, and creators who represent a range of body sizes, races, genders, and abilities to challenge the narrow images you were fed in religious spaces.
De-center weight in health conversations. Work with weight-neutral providers (nutritionists, doctors, therapists) who focus on your overall well-being rather than solely the numbers on a scale.
Notice body talk in relationships. Set boundaries around weight-loss conversations with friends or family, and seek communities that practice body respect.
Explore clothing freedom. Experiment with styles, colors, and fits you actually enjoy, beyond what was deemed “modest” or “flattering” in your former group.
Address trauma stored in the body. Trauma-focused therapies can help heal the shame and disconnection caused by years of body policing.
You do not need to earn your worth through a number on a scale. Especially not in the name of religion.
Reach out to start therapy or to learn more.
📚 Suggested Reading & Resources
Fearing the Black Body by Sabrina Strings
Fat Church: Claiming a Gospel of Fat Liberation by Anastasia E.B. Kidd
The Body Is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor
Reclaiming Body Trust by Hilary Kinavey & Dana Sturtevant
Unshrinking: How to Face Fatphobia by Kate Manne
Disclaimer:
⚠️ The content on this blog is intended for informational and educational purposes ONLY and should NOT be considered a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. Reading these posts does not establish a therapeutic relationship.
If you are currently in crisis, experiencing thoughts of harming yourself or others, or are in need of immediate support, please call 911 or contact a crisis line such as the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 (U.S.) or access your local emergency services.
These blog posts are written to explore topics like trauma, religious deconstruction, cults, identity development, and mental wellness in a thoughtful and compassionate way. They may (or may not) resonate deeply, especially for those healing from complex trauma, but they are NOT meant to replace individualized therapy or medical care.
