Navigating LDS General Conference as a Faith Questioner or ExMormon
For many members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS), General Conference is a tradition. Families gather around screens, members post inspiring quotes online, and talks become topics of discussion for weeks afterward. But if you are questioning your faith or have stepped away from the church, Conference weekend can bring up a storm of emotions; including grief, anger, anxiety, loneliness, confusion, and sometimes even guilt.
Why Conference Weekend Can Hit So Hard
General Conference isn’t just a program; it is a ritual that carries memory, identity, and belonging. When talks touch obedience, gender, sexuality, family roles, modesty, or “worthiness,” your nervous system may register threat, especially if you have experienced religious trauma, scrupulosity, or high-control dynamics. There may be a mix of:
Emotional flashbacks: sudden waves of shame, fear, or “I’m bad” without a clear present-day cause.
Body cues: tight chest, nausea, headaches, trouble sleeping, or urgency to fix/repent/perform.
Cognitive dissonance: Unity and harmony are highlighted, while you are asked to “sustain” ideas that violate your personal values.
Relationship pulls: pressure to watch, text reactions, or attend family meals and debriefs.
None of this means you are “unworthy.” It means your system is working to keep you safe.
The Emotional Weight of Conference
General Conference can feel like a collective reaffirmation of beliefs you are no longer sure about or have consciously chosen to leave behind. You might find yourself unexpectedly triggered by certain talks or phrases that once comforted you but now feel disorienting or even harmful.
You may also experience grief over what you once believed, what you hoped for, or the community you miss. There is often an internal conflict: part of you may feel drawn to watch out of habit or curiosity, while another part feels protective, wanting to avoid pain and protect your mental health.
For those who have left the church, Conference can also reinforce feelings of being "othered" or misunderstood, especially when talks focus on obedience, "worthiness," or reinforce strict boundaries around belonging.
Family Dynamics Around Conference
Family ties can become especially strained during General Conference. You may have family members who share talks with you afterward, assuming you will feel uplifted, or who interpret your disinterest as a personal rejection.
Some people find themselves fielding questions about why they are not watching. Others might be on the receiving end of “loving invitations” that feel more like pressure than genuine connection.
You might also notice that family conversations after Conference carry an unspoken hope that you’ll “come back” or “see the light.” This can create tension, frustration, and even deep sadness.
Navigating Family Conversations
If your family wants to discuss Conference or share talks with you, you might try responses like:
“Thank you for thinking of me; I’m not in a place to talk about Conference right now.”
“I appreciate that this is meaningful to you. For me, it brings up some difficult feelings, and I’d rather focus on connecting in other ways.”
“I understand this is important to you. I’m on a different path now, and I hope we can respect each other’s journeys.”
Or just a simple, “No, thank you.”
While you cannot control their reactions, you can honor your needs and protect your emotional well-being.
October 2025 General Conference Lands Heavier Than Usual
If you are feeling extra raw right now, that makes sense. Recent events at an LDS chapel in Grand Blanc Township, Michigan, traumatically shook LDS communities and anyone with ties to Mormon spaces. At the same time, the Church is mourning the death of the LDS president. These overlapping losses and transitions can bring up grief, uncertainty, and complicated loyalty pulls for many, especially former members and mixed-faith families.
Permission to acknowledge how this may show up this weekend:
Grief + safety activation. News of violence in a familiar religious setting can heighten startle responses, intrusive thoughts, or avoidance of church-adjacent content. Your nervous system may swing between numbness and hypervigilance.
Ambiguous loss. The prophet’s death can stir respect, anger, tenderness, or old hurts at once, especially if past messages affected your identity or relationships. Rituals and tribute broadcasts may feel meaningful for some and re-activating for others. Both are valid.
Change anxiety. Leadership transition talk (e.g., likely succession to the next president) can spike worries about policy direction, inclusion, or family pressures to “re-engage.” If you need to step back from speculation, you can.
Political tension spillover. The broader climate (intense media cycles and policy fights) can amplify black-and-white framing and online conflict. If debate-y threads or group chats make your body clench, mute them for the weekend and choose slower, trusted summaries later.
Holding Space for Yourself
It is okay if you do not want to watch or engage at all. It is also okay if you choose to watch out of curiosity, nostalgia, or to understand what family members are hearing. There is no one “right” way to handle Conference weekend as a faith-questioning or post-Mormon.
Here are a few ways to support yourself:
Set boundaries: Decide ahead of time whether you will engage, read summaries, or avoid it altogether. You can let loved ones know kindly but firmly what you are comfortable with.
Plan alternative activities: Create a weekend that nourishes you; whether that is spending time in nature, connecting with chosen community, or engaging in hobbies.
Prepare for emotional responses: Notice and validate your feelings. You might feel sadness for what you have lost, anger at harmful messages, or relief at your growth.
Seek support: Talk with friends, a therapist, or others who understand the complexities of leaving high-demand religions.
Create a counter-ritual. Light a candle; journal one page about what you are grieving and one about what you are growing toward.
It is common to feel a fresh wave of mixed emotions; love for people, anger at harms, fear of being pulled back in, and tenderness for younger versions of you. You don’t have to earn your boundaries with a perfect essay. Your task this weekend is simple and hard: honor your nervous system, protect your values, and connect where it is safe to do so.
You Deserve Understanding
Whether you still believe parts of the faith, feel entirely disconnected, are in it because of family connections, or are somewhere in between, your feelings are valid. Healing from religious trauma or navigating faith transitions is deeply personal, and there is no timeline or roadmap that works for everyone.
LDS General Conference weekends can be challenging. It is okay to feel conflicted, sad, angry, or even indifferent. You are allowed to choose what supports you best and to change your mind as you grow.
If you are looking for support as you navigate difficult emotions around faith, family, and identity, I’d be honored to work with you.
Reach out to learn more about starting therapy.
Disclaimer:
⚠️ The content on this blog is intended for informational and educational purposes ONLY and should NOT be considered a substitute for personal professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. Reading these posts does not establish a therapeutic relationship.
If you are currently in crisis, experiencing thoughts of harming yourself or others, or are in need of immediate support, please call 911 or contact a crisis line such as the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 (U.S.) or access your local emergency services.
These blog posts are written to explore topics like trauma, religious deconstruction, cults, identity development, and mental wellness in a thoughtful and compassionate way. They may (or may not) resonate deeply, especially for those healing from complex trauma, but they are NOT meant to replace individualized therapy or medical care.
